Like every year prior to this one, I have no New Year’s resolutions. I don’t do them. It’s not that I don’t respect the idea of starting over and creating new goals. New Year’s resolutions just never seem to work out for me. Rather than waiting until a new year to start something, I set goals and start over when it’s good for my soul. If something is bothering me, I change it then. Waiting until a New Year and “just surviving” until then are actually pretty toxic ideas for someone like me.
2022 was a year filled with so many highs. But like every roller coaster that goes up, at some point that roller coaster has to come back down. So while I experienced several good times in 2022, I also went through many lows. It just happens to be a coincidence that my brain and body started screaming for change at the end of 2022. My doctor increased my dosage for my antidepressant. My aches and pains in my joints grew stronger as I gained unwanted weight. I struggled to find guidance in day-to-day life as my routine changed. And as I’ve talked about before, I felt like the biggest failure when I shut down my old blog and gave up almost all of my followers that went along with it.
But with all of this negativity surrounding me, I still felt like I could get through it. In fact, I’m just now starting to work through those tough spots. But I don’t need a New Year or a resolution to get myself started. I just need to feel like I’m ready.
Why Resolutions Can Be Toxic
As I said before, I totally respect the idea of starting over and creating new goals. But there’s something about going into a new year with grandiose expectations that I just find to be rather toxic for myself. For people like me that fight through things like anxiety and depression, grand, somewhat generalized goals over a long period of time can cause even greater let down. It’s not that I don’t have faith in myself. But I’ve learned over time that I have to take things in small steps. Stepping back and looking at the big picture is great. But looking closer at the smaller victories and celebrating each one is more rewarding.
I know recently I’ve hinted at the fact that I have been struggling mentally. Self-doubt and negative self-talk are two monsters I have been fighting as of late. Several times I found myself thinking I was “failing” and that I wasn’t contributing enough to my family. Fortunately, I’m very self-aware. Right away I recognized that there was a problem. That’s why my doctor increased my dosage. Getting through that brain fog created by depression can be hard. But now that I’m reaching the other side of it, I’m ready to set my smaller goals.
Any Time is a Good Time
Any time you feel like you need to make change is a good time to get started. Take those baby steps. First, start by verbalizing out loud that you are struggling. For example, my husband had no clue I was beating myself up internally until I said something to him. Saying it out loud, and to someone you’re close with, really helps to get the process started.
Once you’re ready to say it out loud, the next step is to pick your goal. If it weren’t for my husband, I don’t know that I’d even be attempting to rebrand my blog right now. Because he knew I needed change, he offered without any hesitation to help me get the process started. Knowing that he was on my side made that next step even easier.
The next step is the hardest, though. Bet on yourself. Believe in yourself. I know, it’s not that easy. This is one I struggle with a lot. But you can definitely find little ways to help yourself and your confidence. One thing I’ve been using, and you may have seen me mention already, is a book of affirmations. You can pick any book you find appealing. I purchased “Badass Affirmations: The Wit and Wisdom of Wild Women” by Becca Anderson. I’m reading it in small doses, but so far it totally speaks to my mind and what I’m going through. So, find what speaks to you and get started!
Moral of the Story
The moral of the story is this: Don’t wait until the new year just because that’s what everyone else does. Make that change, set that resolution in stone whenever YOU’RE ready. If you feel deep in your soul that you need change, make it then. You’ve got this!